Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Monday, August 10, 2015
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated"
my heart swelled. I looked at the stained glass windows that were to my right and studied the images of the crucifixion and the resurrection as I processed those lyrics in my mind. My heart, in the midst of grief, was filled with overwhelming gratitude to my Savior. Because of his mercy and grace, I grieve with hope. My Savior defeated death, and because of that, though I wade through excruciating grief on earth, I do so knowing that it is only temporary and one day I will be reunited with my son.
The next song we sang was "How Can It Be?" by Lauren Dangle which was an overwhelming follow up to that song. The gratitude I was feeling became completely overwhelming. Because of His sacrifice, not only do I have the promise of eternal life, but I have the promise that this grief and pain is only temporary.
I glanced at the stained glass windows again and focused on the image of the crucifixion. I looked at those nail pierced hands and sat in awe of the truth that those hands had carefully formed my baby boy and instilled his great purpose within him. A peace came over me with the reminder that those same hands that so graciously formed his life, are holding him now.
As Brent and I were headed home this evening with the girls, Audrey began to excitedly scream "IT'S A RAINBOW!". I glanced up expecting to have to search for a barely visible rainbow, but instead, I saw a large, vibrant, beautiful rainbow stretching across the sky in a grand ark; the perfect reminder of that grand promise.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Recently I found myself in a place where I realized that I wasn't doing much to further the kingdom of God. I was doing everything "right". Praying, studying my Bible, singing praise and worship songs, and avoiding all the things we are taught to avoid, but what was I really doing?
So I began to pray and ask God to place me where He wanted me. As this was going on, I had just made the decision to go back to school after much prayer. After praying about that, I felt that God was calling me to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. That's great God. Wonderful. I can do that. But what about now? What do you want me to do now?
See, there I was again, throwing up my plans. Then, in God's perfect timing, everything fell into place for that to happen now. In fact, the way everything fell into place so perfectly, was in such a way that could only have been orchestrated by God. Actually, I am still amazed by it.
I am blessed to start that volunteer work this week. And all week, that voice has crept up, but every time God's truth has been right behind it.
Will I have time? I start school Monday.
My timing is perfect.
God, I am a mess right now. I don't know if I have the strength to help other people.
I will give you strength.
God, I don't think I can do this.
You can't. But I can.
God, are you sure?
That last word has been popping up in everything today. As I studied my Bible this morning, I saw Go. In the David Platt book I am reading, I saw Go. At church tonight, I read Go.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Then I heard the Lord asking, "Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me."
And the truth is, I am a complete and absolute broken mess. Right now, I spend much of the day wondering which way is up. I still have my own past I am battling and recovering from along with current storms.
But the Truth is, that I serve a God who is bigger than all of that. I serve a God who can use anyone, from the smallest of people as I have seen through Barrett, to the most broken of people. To doubt that, is to doubt His power.
I would so appreciate any prayers this week. Mostly for the women and children I will encounter. That they won't see me, but that they will see Jesus.