Life According to Audrey:
2). Vacuum cleaners are evil. Your only hope is to run screaming and hope that when mommy turns it off to change rooms, your careful words of "all done mommy, all done" will convince her.
3). If you want to sleep with mommy and daddy, just wait and run to their bed at 2 a.m....they will be too tired to take you back.
4). Saying "ta-da!" can make anything better (esp if mom and dad are mad, it makes them laugh)
5). Not every car has a television? (whats up with that?)
6). If mommy wants you to take a nap, just close your eyes when she is near.
7). If you're not ready to go to bed, just crawl and in mommy's lap and say "I wanna lay with you mommy" (gets them every time)
8). Mommy and Daddy's food always tastes better. Don't let them fool you.
9). You think that's a bell pepper on your pizza? Get real. That's a snake. Run and Scream.
10). If your shoe comes off your foot, it is definitely broken
11). Dog food in milk, cocoa puffs, whats the difference?
12). I still don't understand why mommy calls me names like "pie", "sweetie", and "stinker". I am clearly an Audrey, not a pie.
13). Beta fish love coke and milk. I don't understand why mommy and daddy got so upset about that.
14). When people ask me questions on the phone, I nod my head. They can clearly see me.
15). Squash makes me sick. It is yuck and not good.
16). When a dentist sticks his hand in your mouth, the proper response is "Hey! What's the big idea?"
17). My silly daddy told me I had to sleep with the dogs. Doesn't he know I'm not a dog anymore? I was a dog on Tuesday.
18). Mommy laughs at me, but that TV remote can carry on a good conversation.
1). "Where my ball is?"
2). I can't wake Daddy up because he is sleeping.
3). Squash makes me sick. It is yuck and not good.
4). When I am stronger I want a white horse. When I am stronger I will build a barn to put my white horse in.
5). I am three years old. I am ALMOST bigger enough for a white horse.
6). Little Red Riding Hood was swiped by Swiper. (Personally, Mommy thought this was a pretty clever connection)
7). Jesus is in my church. He's in my heart too, not just in my church.
Audrey: Mommy can I have some cake?
Me: If Daddy says it's ok.
Audrey: Daddy can I have cake?
Audrey: Did you say maybe?
Audrey: Mommy, Daddy said yes!
Audrey: Daddy is Barrett in heaven?
Daddy: Yes he is and one day we will go see them
Audrey: No daddy, we're going to Atlanta!
There are so many more, but I'll do another Audrey post one day with some more of her wisdom.